tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post5318628884520021435..comments2023-08-17T21:16:22.761+10:00Comments on Life In A Pink Fibro: Where angels fear to treadallison taithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00762529258195877400noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-27882756389597350562011-06-18T22:16:36.693+10:002011-06-18T22:16:36.693+10:00Goodness, I had a similar convo with Snowbear when...Goodness, I had a similar convo with Snowbear when she was 3 (she's my BIG thinker).<br />Scene: car on way to kinder<br />SB: "Mum, when will I be 100?"<br />ME:"In a about 100 years"<br />pause<br />Screaming tears<br />SB:"But then you'll be dead and we won't be together anymore...waah"<br /><br />help!!! Please remember I'm driving the car at the time!!!<br /><br />Solution: handed sobbing child over to elderly very experienced kinder teacher and got her to fix it. The class had a wonderful age appropriate, student lead convo abt death and heaven and whether pets could fit in heaven or whether there needed to be a separate heaven for pets.<br />She was fine by home time (poor little dot)(mum still waiting to recover)<br />xxxCateCatehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13738366255343185057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-69254376975177929332011-06-13T07:23:11.565+10:002011-06-13T07:23:11.565+10:00That was soooo funny!!!! All i can say is that i t...That was soooo funny!!!! All i can say is that i think honesty is the best policy for kids but I know what you mean re: tricky convos. Very tricky sometimes. Kids are so darn smart! LOLKim Hhttp://featherandnestkim.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-87537410523663044372011-06-12T22:20:21.097+10:002011-06-12T22:20:21.097+10:00Al, we are still in the mud with this.
"All...Al, we are still in the mud with this. <br /><br />"All people called Tim & Will end up died in Hen" is what Lexie told me last week. (Grandpa Tim and Uncle Will have both passed away.)<br /><br />I have no idea.<br /><br />I made mention once that people and animals only die when they are ready. Charlie asked me to please make sure I was never ready. <br /><br />Nightmare.Diminishing Lucyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02072304081006798910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-62175845693418223172011-06-12T10:48:17.385+10:002011-06-12T10:48:17.385+10:00Hmmm... I'm not always awesome at age appropri...Hmmm... I'm not always awesome at age appropriate; I'm so hung up on honesty. My big girl is an anxious one though, so I gave this topic a bit of thought. I emphasised the notion that plants, animals and people usually die when they've finished their lives as life comes to a natural end. That's why everyone talks about it when people die before they're done - because it's so unusual. And of course, we won't be finished for an unimaginably long time yet.tinsenpuphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11955496156384131307noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-18753486271933197442011-06-11T18:24:25.103+10:002011-06-11T18:24:25.103+10:00I'm *lucky* in that my kids go to Catholic sch...I'm *lucky* in that my kids go to Catholic schools here in Ireland and so they get answers to most of these questions in religon classes - in fact they're most certain about stuff than me...for now it's a relief. Over from weekend rewind xLooking for Blue Skyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10010049814419812468noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-59129864048887843062011-06-11T17:18:45.609+10:002011-06-11T17:18:45.609+10:00The only advice I can give about big conversations...The only advice I can give about big conversations is to always ask, why do you ask? This is just to make sure that the "Where did I come from?" actually is about reproduction and not about what country they hailed from.Shelly - Tropical Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00464868349672755774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-37613638307894043292011-06-11T12:33:24.887+10:002011-06-11T12:33:24.887+10:00I'm not great in these instances either. Espec...I'm not great in these instances either. Especially when it comes to what's appropriate for their age. It's tough. I just kind of skirt the issue or sometimes even just wait long enough until they come up with an answer that they're happy with and (as long as it's somewhat plausible like those special kisses mummy and daddy have to make babies LOL) agree and move on. LOL<br /><br />Death we have touched on a few times (my FIL passed before any of the girls were born so it's quite often a topic that comes up here) so our girls just believe what we believe. I find it harder when other people tell our children that someone/something has gone to heaven because we don't say that so then we find ourselves having trouble explaining that. I guess as with anything the more something is discussed the easier it gets.<br /><br />There are a couple of topics, especially sex/women's issues, I have just replied with "When you're old enough I will tell you. It's not something you need to know right now." And so far they've been happy with that.<br /><br />Gah! I never know if I'm doing/saying the right thing!cjtatohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08647596319711811125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-41602734672106437862011-06-11T11:01:26.302+10:002011-06-11T11:01:26.302+10:00I posted my weekend rewind today before I read you...I posted my weekend rewind today before I read your post. Same topic. I had a similar conversation with my daughter recently. It is hard, I don't want to lie either. <br />Parenting is tough when they ask the 'hard questions' isn't it?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09651116248452404269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-84990859306461563992011-06-11T10:34:16.532+10:002011-06-11T10:34:16.532+10:00I too struggle with these types of conversations. ...I too struggle with these types of conversations. <br />I very much want to tell the truth, but they don't always grasp the truth. <br />I tend to just waffle on about stuff, half the time i am sure it goes over Bluey's head, but then i overhear him explaining things to his brother, or telling someone else and i think "Maybe he does understand more than i realise?"<br />Sadly we experienced death in 2009 when my Grandmother died. Bluey probably handled it the most "correct" way (Greenie was still a baby). He cried, lots. He would just burst into tears at random moments and you'd be all WHAT? What's wrong? Is everything ok? Are you hurt? And he would say "I miss Oma" and so i would sit with him and we would talk. I just explained death like people going to sleep but never ever waking up again and it's sad because we don't get to see or talk to them anymore, and so we miss them. Death is probably one of the hardest ones. Death and life, i.e. sex. Lol.Miss Pinkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04339773113889860348noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-69885948181832585512011-06-11T05:40:27.636+10:002011-06-11T05:40:27.636+10:00Ah bless, I haven't come to this point yet...n...Ah bless, I haven't come to this point yet...not really sure what I'd say..probably I'd also pull out something about a roundhouse kick! <br />Not easy, this subject. I'm not sure most grown-ups know what to say to each other about death to be honest - it's the unsolvable one. <br />~MRachelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04868311511462835246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-32840839884598321262011-06-11T04:12:47.903+10:002011-06-11T04:12:47.903+10:00A tough one to tackle. My friend used the caterpi...A tough one to tackle. My friend used the caterpillar/butterfly thing. That when we outlive one body, we turn into another beautiful thing, and this changing of body never stops and never truly dies.<br /><br />A wonderful post for a parent to ruminate on. Thank you for sharing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-44453136943308507692011-06-11T01:03:02.175+10:002011-06-11T01:03:02.175+10:00I too remember being on the child side of this con...I too remember being on the child side of this conversation at age 6 or so. Though not easy for my poor parents, they gave it to us kids straight. It was our dear grandmother who lived with us who had passed away. They gently explained that she had "passed" and that though she would not be here in person, our memories of her would always be with us. I can't tell you how much this helped just 3 years later when my father died of a sudden heart attack. Facing death for what it is, was better than a sugar coated explanation from my parents. It's stayed with me like this for all this time.Ryanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06178982656019966324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-30691810164497260342011-06-10T23:41:12.200+10:002011-06-10T23:41:12.200+10:00We're not there yet, Miss E is barely talking ...We're not there yet, Miss E is barely talking so far, but I suspect I'll be no better at the deep and meaningfuls than you are! Something to look forward to?Katie Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01678019955942895123noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-72049687984325517232011-06-10T23:36:20.676+10:002011-06-10T23:36:20.676+10:00I don't think any of us quite know what to say...I don't think any of us quite know what to say? I do remember being on the other side of this conversation: getting up out of of bed one night to ask my mum what heaven was like. She told me it was just like being asleep and having a really good dream. Most importantly, she told me she wasn't scared of dying and this seemed to be all the 6 year old me needed to hear. Whether right or wrong, I will no doubt take on her side of the conversation when my boys decide to ask me. I loved this post...thanks for rewinding it! Gill xoInkPaperPenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14595595934607152505noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-32944178428522289102011-06-10T23:20:12.247+10:002011-06-10T23:20:12.247+10:00Love this post, as I too, am crap at the big chats...Love this post, as I too, am crap at the big chats. <br /><br />But for what I see hear,I think you are brilliant at the little chats, and I tend to think that it's the little chats, the day in and day out reminders of what is important in life, that make the biggest difference.<br /><br />Happy Weekend!Marion Williams-Bennetthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13741729110133561984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-69708080051862063212011-06-10T23:14:48.631+10:002011-06-10T23:14:48.631+10:00We have ``unusual'' chats, but not on the ...We have ``unusual'' chats, but not on the BIG stuff... yet! It's hard as a parent to know exactly how to answer these sort of questions. So far, three-year-old Ella hasn't had to deal with the topic of death. But I'm bracing for that day. <br />PS. Loving some of the answers above too. Very cute! xxKelliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11690280722837578327noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-85568767274031084782011-06-10T22:43:19.684+10:002011-06-10T22:43:19.684+10:00Such a difficult one. We go with heaven. (Unless ...Such a difficult one. We go with heaven. (Unless it is an orphaned baby lamb or something in which case we say it's Mummy came and got it in the night!) The children think heaven is in the sky and when their great grandma died they looked upwards for quite a few nights afterwards wondering which star she lived on. And also if she was hanging out with any aliens....<br /><br />I loved this post.A Farmer's Wifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17094401205258678969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-66126589130084286902010-08-15T23:51:38.136+10:002010-08-15T23:51:38.136+10:00Always give them just enough information to satisf...Always give them just enough information to satisfy them. It's amazing to watch the logic they use. The longest drive we have taken our daughter is Tamworth.<br /><br />Daughter: Who made the roads?<br />Me: People.<br />Daughter: Who made the people?<br />Me: God.<br />Daughter: Where is God?<br />Me: Heaven.<br />Daughter: Where is Heaven?<br />Me: It's a very far from here.<br />Daughter: Is it near Tamworth?Ivan Mnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-16155837302962025002010-08-06T15:40:42.920+10:002010-08-06T15:40:42.920+10:00My daughter asked how her dad and I made her baby ...My daughter asked how her dad and I made her baby brother a few weeks ago and I stammered something about how I'd get back to her on that one ... still haven't managed to come up with a good, age-appropriate answer. And I can't even imagine the tougher questions, like Mr3's.Staciahttp://myfluffybunnies.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-9755163652162759772010-08-04T22:32:18.730+10:002010-08-04T22:32:18.730+10:00I think you did very well. It is a tight rope betw...I think you did very well. It is a tight rope between telling the truth and being suitable for their age. I found it got a lot easier with age. And the teen years involve some very interesting conversations-eek.Julie-Annhttp://www.decoratingforum.com.aunoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-4651939455454469912010-08-04T13:46:12.036+10:002010-08-04T13:46:12.036+10:00It is at about this point in the conversation that...It is at about this point in the conversation that I think "when are their real parents coming to pick them up?"<br /><br />*Squirm*. It is about as much fun as "But how did the babies get in there Mummy?"<br /><br />I got nothing big sis. I think you handled it very graciously (esp for a person watching boys in PJs doing round kicks!)MultipleMumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00621170366257326241noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-49764089213677536572010-08-04T11:20:42.337+10:002010-08-04T11:20:42.337+10:00It was Maxi-Taxi who first mentioned heaven (his f...It was Maxi-Taxi who first mentioned heaven (his fave subject at school is scripture, wouldn't you know it!?) and I went with it. I was so glad I did because it gives children a real sense of place and perspective. They can believe in 'heaven' in a way that we can't even imagine. Believing allows them to feel safer in a world they can't understand. They will be able to make up their own minds as they get older.Maxabellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15761220164069379437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-34715309562408992752010-08-04T08:20:51.012+10:002010-08-04T08:20:51.012+10:00It is a really hard thing to deal with and no matt...It is a really hard thing to deal with and no matter what you say, when someone or something actually dies they are going to feel real pain. I found saying that when everyone dies their soul goes to heaven sort of worked, but with boys they were more interested in what happened to the body and bones. They like lots of details, unfortunately. I just fluffed my way through. They have both had to deal with death and they cry and grieve and they both have different beliefs in what actually happens. It's just one of those things that is difficult to explain. A bit like how do babies get out. That's a really hard one to explain to a boy between 4-8. I'd rather discuss death.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-91866764531787681592010-08-04T08:02:21.313+10:002010-08-04T08:02:21.313+10:00Sadly I have had to have the death convo too many ...Sadly I have had to have the death convo too many times with my three. Hate it. Still no better at it. <br /><br />Allison, I have read loads of books on how to deal with death and grief in relation to kids. The books all have "answers" but I am yet to find one that actually works well.......Diminishing Lucyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02072304081006798910noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1495198733430494988.post-39558205571147729542010-08-04T01:29:28.601+10:002010-08-04T01:29:28.601+10:00The essence of these questions is that they catch ...The essence of these questions is that they catch up on the hop! It doesn't bother a kid to see us thinking, it's when we shy like a startled horse that they get nervous.<br /><br />I found it helpful to answer the one question, but not elaborate. The follow-up question is always at a tangent to my thinking anyway!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com