Au revoir le Tour de France

A short post tonight. I have a date. With Cadel Evans. He's kept me up late for the past three nights and now our relationship is coming to a climax. He has a fashionable new shirt to wear. I'm going for comfort over style - I don't want to misrepresent myself - and will be featuring my spotted pyjamas. Similar to the King of the Mountain cycling shirt, only pink spots, not red. And flannel. There is that.

Tonight Cadel Evans will arrive in Paris wearing the yellow jersey (I was going to say 'enter Paris' there, but figured that particular videotape had already been done). I'm so excited for him. He has been the Little Red Engine of this year's Tour de France ("I think I can, I think I can"), the unrelenting tortoise to Andy Schleck's flighty hare. I'll be there (well, here) to watch him step up on that podium. I'm sure he'll shed a tear. If there's footage of his proud mum and dad shedding tears, I'll definitely shed a tear.

And the Tour de France is over for another long year. No more will the dulcet tones of Phil Liggett soothe me to sleep under my slanket take me through every spin of every wheel ("He's working a massive gear there"). I might have to do something radical to relive the magic.

Like getting my own bike out of the mothballs in the garage and taking it for a spin.

[image: fcbikecoop.org]

What did you talk about this week?

I haven't done this for a while, but I've decided to resurrect it. It's the closest I'll get to Friday night at the pub, so I'm going to give it a whirl.

This week at the Fibro, subjects on the agenda included:

Le Peloton, Frandy Schleck, bathroom tiles, kitchen benchtops, Reconciliation, spelling, piano, how high the moon is, where do sharks go to sleep, Nintendo Wii, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, slow cookers, stainless steel, why little boys are physically incapable of weeing IN the toilet, Blundstone boots, Alphabets, blogging, books, edits, social media, whether aliens would really be green, who invented school, soccer, Tai kwon do. the documentary Inside Job, music trivia, The Vapours, Seeker Lover Keeper, and whether there should be an S in the word mathathon.

What did you talk about this week?


[image: allposters.com]

Just the highlights, thanks

A few years ago I read Daniel Coyle’s book about Lance Armstrong called Tour de Force. I’m not sure how this book made it onto the Fam Fibro bookshelf, as we are not noted sports biography lovers, but this was a riveting read. Coyle writes really well. Armstrong cycles really well.

But what really captivated me was The Peloton.

I have become an ardent follower of the Tour de France. When I say ardent, I mean that in a ‘6pm highlights’ kind of way. Watching four hours of cycling in the middle of the night, every night for two weeks, would make me a Tragic. I'm more a Slightly Sad. But if it’s quality, not quantity, of ardour you’re after, I’m your girl.

I love the tactics of the TdF. I’m sure all bike races are just as interesting, but I don’t watch them, so I wouldn’t know. The TdF features not only cyclists riding aggressively, but lots of lovely bucolic scenery and the occasional Chateau to admire. Plus I get two weeks of highlights to remember how it all works. So it wins my passion.

The rigours of cycling aside – and it’s worth watching the riders get skinnier and skinnier as the race progresses – the teamwork of the race is fascinating. Riding your backside off (literally in the case of some of the smaller team members) to catapult some other bloke to the winner’s podium is an extraordinary way to live. No wonder they’re called ‘domestiques’.

I love listening to Phil Liggett talking about cyclists “wearing the mask of pain” (which frankly makes them look like they’re smiling). I love watching the cyclists collect their ‘feed bags’ and spend a few kilometres shoving protein bars into the various nooks and crannies of their lycra shirts. They even read the labels.

I love watching the bravehardy fools form breakaways and slog away for 100km, only to be mown down by the mighty Peloton with 500 metres to go. As Coyle points out in his book, sheer physics means that the Peloton travels faster than any group of small riders, so, if the Pack puts their minds to it, they will always reel in a breakaway.

Why do they do it? Why? In the crazy hopes of being Sylvain Chavanel, who has now won two stages of this year’s race using this breakaway business? Possibly. To avoid crashes on narrow, cobbled streets? No doubt. For a less-obstructed view of the fabulous scenery? Probably not.

There is one more week of the race to go. Cadel Evans – who seems to have acquired a much friendlier personality this year – is wearing the Yellow Jersey. Can he keep it? Will he crash? Or will The Peloton, silent but for the whirring of 100 expensive wheels and the gasping of breath, drag him back to the pack.

I’ll just have to wait for the highlights to find out.

{image: retro.net}