Save the date

I don't know about you, but the calendar is beginning to get a little crammed. Fortunately, The Builder showed me how to use the Outlook calendar and so I'm getting reminders and everything these days. Amazing thing, that technology.

Anyhoo. My focus on calendars is all due to the fact that I have a date for yours. I'm going to host a Facebook chat about freelance writing at the Fibro page next Wednesday, 7 December, at 8.30pm (AEDST). I'll be there until 9.30pm for any questions you might have about freelancing.

The invitation is out. One week to go. Now all that's left for me to do is to clean the house, put up a few balloons and sit around nervously drinking wine, wondering if anyone will show up.

You can join the Fibro Facebook page here (I'll post reminders there, in case you haven't worked out your Outlook calendar yet). Hope to see you there.

[image: divine illustrated mini calendar by milk and cookies on MadeIt]

Motherhood is... Learning when to let go

Mr4 has found the sweet spot on his bike. He is off and racing. Little legs pumping, concentration fierce. He still wobbles. He still worries. But he's doing it. With his eyes open.

It has taken a little while for him to get going. I found him on the grass this afternoon, in tears. Mr7 told me that he'd forgotten to push off when he lifted his foot. Balancing on a stationary bike is best left to the professionals. "He went sideways, Mum," said Mr7, solemnly.

Mr4 looked up at me, face screwed up, red and angry. "I'm okay," he said, between sobs. "I don't need you. I don't need you."

I backed away.

We took them out, to a place with space and paths on which to spread his wings. He tried at first with me puffing along behind, holding the back of his seat, shouting instructions as he wibbled towards the road and wobbled towards the trees. "Let go, Mum, let go," he screamed back.

I couldn't. He was too wobbly, he wasn't steering straight. All I could foresee was disaster.

On the return journey, he refused my help, turning to his Dad. Mr7 and I made our way back to the car. "Coming through!" we heard, a few metres up the track. I turned and there was Mr4 riding towards me, The Builder running behind shrieking (in a manly way) "You're doing it! You're doing it" (I tell you, it's catching). He rode to the end of the path, turned and returned.

"You held on for too long," he told me, serene in his new ability. "You have to let go. I can't ride unless you let go."

I nodded, message finally understood.

Oh, but this motherhood gig is hard.


[image: I love these bird prints from barkingbirdart/etsy]

Fibro Q&A: So you want to be a fashion/beauty writer?

Paula Joye has dedicated the last 20 years of her life to beauty, fashion and style. When I met her in the early days of my fulltime features-writing career, she was the deputy editor of CLEO, a gorgeous (still is, see left), bubbly blonde with endless reserves of encouragement (for people like me) and unlimited potential (for her). She pretty much fulfilled all that potential in magazines, as editor of CLEO, Shop Til You Drop and Madison - and editor-in-chief of all three - and has now moved on to seeing where it will take her online (I'm thinking far) with Life.Styled., which she describes as a 'depot for beautiful things'.

With a solid-gold background in beauty and fashion editing in her portfolio, I could think of no better person to ask about beauty and fashion writing. It's a very specific niche in the publishing world (both print and online) and it calls for a particular set of skills. Not least of which is being able to write down, off the top of your head, at least a dozen different alternatives for each of these words: hair, skin, eyes, fragrance. Trust me, it's not as easy as it looks...

What are the three main skills you need to be a good fashion or beauty writer?
PJ: "1. You must love it, otherwise it will melt your brain. The way to find true satisfaction when specialising in any subject is passion - if you kinda like shoes or sorta think mascara is awesome, it's never going to be for you.

"2. Have an opinion. This separates the wheat from the chaff. The best beauty and fashion writers have a point of view that is engaging, 360  and often humorous or self-deprecating. It's not rocket science and shouldn't be written as such.

"3. Luck. Right place. Right time."

I think it's an area of writing that people think is easy - but anyone who's tried to write a hair story and come up with 33 different ways to say 'hair' (without repeating yourself) knows differently. What are the keys to getting it right?
PJ: "Finding 33 different words for hair! Creativity is key and the big one is to avoid cliches. It is an area riddled with them - find a new angle, throw the net wider, and don't say stuff like 'sun, sand and salt water can wreak havoc on your locks'. Just don't."

Of course, there's more to it than just the writing. Fashion and beauty editors spend a lot of time away from their desks, viewing collections, attending product launches, etc. Is relationship-building a vital tool in the fashion or beauty writer's arsenal?
PJ: "One hundred per cent. It's your mainline to experts, new information, inspiration - it's the front line. The industry is about contacts and runs on the board - a big part of that is the network you create."

How do I break into this area if it's something I'm passionate about?
PJ: "You can do it. Make sure you really want it (because it's hard) and then dig your heels in. Work experience is essential. Try to get an internship within a magazine, newspaper or television fashion or beauty department. Start a blog or website as an outlet for your writing - and to become your CV."

Would you agree then that any potential fashion/beauty writer/editor needs a blog? What do you think are the key ingredients of a standout fashion/beauty blog?
PJ: "You should only create a blog if you're passionate about it - no matter what the subject matter. Yes, it's a great way to express your creative point of view and self-publish, but it's also a beast that needs to be fed. Daily.

"Find your sticky point - and for everyone that will be different. The key to success is recognising the 'thing' that people are visiting your blog for, and capitalising on it.

"A wise editor once said (and man, it's true), 'Should we give the readers more of what they want? Or less?'

"It's actually that simple."

Visit Paula at lifestyled.com.au for everything you ever wanted to know about fashion, beauty, home, heart... and fun.

Just another blog post about blogging (and ducks)

I had an editor once who liked to talk about ducks a lot. About how their effortless glide across a pond concealed a whole lot of hard work, churning and strain underneath. That, he told me, is what writing should be like. Good writing.

Readers, he said, do not want to know about how difficult it was to organise a particular interview. They do not want to know how long it took you to find a park, or how you arrived flustered and red-faced only to discover that your interviewee was still in the shower.

What they want, he continued (at length), is a simple, beautifully written profile piece. About the heart of the story - not about you.

I spoke to a very good blogger today, who said something similar about blogging. "I write my blog every day as though it's the first day that every reader will visit it," she said. "What do I want them to see?"

Blogging can be hard work. Of that there is no doubt. There's a lot to consider, a lot going on in the background. Decisions to be made about X, Y and Z. All very important stuff.

But probably not for readers. Who just want to admire the sunshine on your glossy feathers as you sail across the smooth surface of the blogosphere. What shines your particular set of feathers will be different to the blog next door - it might be humour or pathos or advice or raw passion or stunning images or mouth-watering craft.

The churning? Not so much.

[image: via weheartit.com]

Have yourself a very early Christmas

The first Christmas card entered the Fibro two weeks ago. Two. Weeks. Mr7 smuggled it home in his school bag, more interested in the lollipop that came with it than in the card itself. Until he realised that he had the first card. The only card. Which, as far as he's concerned, pretty much makes him the most popular member of the household.

He may have a point.

Personally, I think that the first week of November is a little early for Christmas cards. Mr7's card has hung, in splendid isolation, in the acreage of the living room venetian blind (see image), for nearly 14 days now. It looks very lonely. We have all fully appreciated it from every angle.

Longterm readers of this blog will know that I am a fan of the Christmas card. I like to send them. I like to receive them. I have already bought some splendid examples from Leaf Journals. But there's no way I'd send them before the first week of December. Maybe the second. And I don't tend to give them to people I see all the time. I don't do The Exchange.

What do you think? Can you peak too early with Christmas cards? When's the optimum time to send (and receive)? Oh, and where do you put yours?

The Writer's Apprentice

Mr7 and I have found a new reading obsession. The Ranger's Apprentice series by John Flanagan has captured his imagination - and mine. Actually, mine first. I was searching for books that would be suitable for him, and was given a few recommendations by our new best friend at one of the local bookshops. She knows us, you see, and always has something to suggest for him when we pop in.

She handed me the first Ranger's Apprentice with this review: "He'll love it, and best of all it stays at the same level throughout the series." No more shades of Grumpy Harry Potter, who gets darker and more bewildering as he advances through puberty.

I took it home, opened it - and read the whole thing in one sitting. It's really good. Well written, fast-paced, heaps of action, great characters, good life lessons. Jackpot!

I handed it to Mr7 the next morning. "You'll love it," I said. He took it from me - and refused to read it. I think I was just a little bit too enthusiastic. I keep forgetting I'm his mum. Who wants to read what mum thinks is good?

It took months, but finally, on a slow news day, he picked it up. And was hooked. He's now zooming through book four and has book five lined up, ready to go. (I would just like to say at this point that I haven't even said 'I told you so'... much.)

In true Mr7 style, he is now writing his own book. It is called The Four Archers, and he assures me that any resemblance to the Ranger's Apprentice (which features archery - heavily) is absolutely coincidental. Note to self: revisit the plagiarism discussion.

"How many words will I need to make it into a real book?" he asked.

"Oh, 3000-5000," I said, thinking of the school readers.

Silence.

"Do you mean the Ranger's Apprentice books are 5000 words long?" he asked.

"Oh no," I said. "If you want to write one of that length, you're looking at around 30,000-40,000 I think."

Silence.

"Whoa, that's a LOT of words."

Tell me about it.

I suggested that he might like to try writing a summary of his story first - a plot outline - and then writing the book based on that.

Silence.

"I don't think that would work, Mum. I like to make it up as I go along."

Tell me about it.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

[image: rangersapprentice.com.au]

A great unveiling (introducing Career Mums, the book)

I've tried a few openings for this blog post. It's an unveiling kind of post and I felt it should have some pomp and ceremony. But everything I tried sounded either too Barnum Bros Circus (Roll up! Roll up!), too 'Prime Minister opening large and important building' (It gives me great pleasure...) or too 16-year-old girl with Text Addiction issues (OMG! ZOMG! OMGOMGZOMG!).

Plus there was the slight problem of the picture being the first thing you see. Not so much unveiling as simply Putting It Right Out There!

So I thought I'd just, you know, Put It Right Out There.

Let's just take one moment to contemplate the cuteness that is the cover of Career Mums, my new book, co-authored with the lovely Kate Sykes, founder of careermums.com.au, Telstra ACT Businesswoman of the Year in 2010, and general all-round good egg. It will hit the stands on January 3, 2012, ready for any New Year, New You! thoughts you may be having about making 2012 the year that you make some changes in your work/life balance.

We set out to write a useful, informative, practical guide to using the Right to Request Flexibility (enshrined in legislation in January 2010) to help make your life as a working parent an easier road to travel. We tried to make it easy to follow, even entertaining in places, and to cover off as many of the issues facing working parents as we could in the space we had. Being a working mum is not a one-size-fits-all proposition (besides, we all know that one-size-fits-all clothes never fit anyone, not really), but we think that there are ways of making it work for you - and we hope that this book will help you with your journey. At the very least, it will give you lots to think about!

In a joyous coincidence, I discovered today, whilst Googling my name (as one does) in the name of researching a current feature (don't ask) that Booktopia is offering pre-orders of Career Mums at 20 per cent off! A mere $15.95 will secure you a copy.

So there it is. An unveiling and a gratuitous plug in one blog post. Who says I'm not creative?

PS: Join the CareerMums Facebook page to keep up to date with book news, part-time jobs around the nation, blog posts from some of Australia's best working mum bloggers and for the opportunity, at a date to be announced, to win some mentoring time with Kate - if you're keen to get back to work, or make work work better for you, she's the one to help!

Gardening + Editing = same/same

Gardening is a surprising business. Even with all the instructions, conditions, fertiliser and prayers in the world, some plants simply never prosper. They decide they don't like your plot of land and simply turn their toes up at it. Others will thrive, despite a perfect storm of neglect, bad soil and lousy location.

At the beginning of winter this year, The Builder and I planted some dwarf, winter-flowering Italian lavender. They were very cute. Small, perfectly formed. We placed them gently round the bottom of a new camellia (for which we had high hopes) and sat back to watch.

Today I approached said 'dwarf' lavenders with pruning shears in hand. They had, to be brief, run amok, squeezing the life out of the camellia (for which we had high hopes). They had flowered over winter, flowered during spring and were about to flower again. Meanwhile, we had been waiting for them to finish flowering so that we could 'tip prune' them - as per instructions on the label. They didn't finish. No tip pruning. Which means lots and lots of dead lavender heads adorning their spiky fronds.

The time had come to cut those suckers back.

I began with the secateurs, gently teasing each dead lavender head from the foliage and delicately snipping it off. I did this for about 15 minutes and then stood back to admire my handiwork. Large pile of dead lavender heads on the path - no discernible difference to the plants.

Something more brutal was required.

I called The Builder outside (from grouting duties within the Fibro) to confer. We decided that I would take a third off each plant. "Back to the basic structure," he said. "Get rid of the faff."

So I pulled out my Edward Scissorhands shears and began hacking in. Spears of lavender went everywhere, landing at my feet. Wait a minute, I thought to myself. These are flowers. Beautiful, deep purple flowers. I put down the shears, ran inside for a container, picked up the secateurs and snipped off a huge bouquet of lavender to adorn the Fibro.

That done, I hacked into the bushes again, reducing their bulk by one-third, back to the wood, shaping them as I went. As I got towards the end of my task, I began to leave the new shoots I could see, taking care to cut around them - after all, I would like a few summer flowers from my winter-flowering lavender if possible.

My lavender shrubs are now neat and tidy, ready for whatever summer will bring. The removal of the dead heads allows more sun to penetrate, allowing for even more growth. The camellia (for which we have high hopes) is once again the star, and has enough room to breathe.

The whole time I was undertaking this exercise, I was thinking about editing.

The first time somebody asked me to edit my full-length manuscript, I went in very gently, snipping a few bits here, changing a word, putting in a comma.

Then a structural editor got hold of my manuscript and told me, in no uncertain terms, that I had started with the wrong character and that the whole thing needed to be turned upside down until the basics of the story and the characters was revealed. I did that, putting aside some bits I really loved, the ones that weren't quite right for this story, and storing them away. You never know what you'll be able to use again.

And even as I hacked away at my manuscript, I discovered new shoots. Things I hadn't noticed before because I was too busy concentrating on the showy stuff. Kill your darlings, they say. If a scene or a character or a line is only there because you love it, not because it advances the story, it has no place in this book.

Once I'd finished editing my manuscript, I had a much better book. Much better. But I'd never have found it if I hadn't got the pruning shears out and gone to town on it.

Lessons of the day: 1) quick and brutal beats death by 1000 cuts. 2) Your first draft is not your manuscript. It's really not.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar (aka Why do you blog?)

If I've learned nothing else in my many months of blogging, I've learned the value of recording the little things. Snippets. Pictures. A thought here. A moment there. And it's for that reason that I'm writing today's post. It's been a bit of a Mr4 week this week, but that's okay. He's off to big school next year. So many of his thoughts and ideas and random utterances will be heard by other people.

Not me.

But this one, today's one, was mine.

The scene: Mr4, Mr7 and I are in the car, on our way to take Mr7 to his piano lesson. The boys are chatting about this and that. Mr4 tells Mr7 how hungry he is.

"You can't possibly be hungry," I say, interrupting. Mr4 is in the midst of a hollow-legs phase. "You ate a lot today."

"What did you have?" asks Mr7.

"Well," says Mr4, considering. "I had two pieces of buttery toasters for breakfast. And a milkshake. And half a caramel slice. And an apple. And a ham wrap. And a cheesestick. And some sultanas. And some crackers. And four strawberries..."

Pause.

"And then," he continued, in exactly the same tone of voice. "I ate one nice green leaf, and I felt much better."

Pause.

Mr7 and I cracked up, while Mr4 grinned from ear to ear. Did you see what he did there? It seems that Mr4 is learning the art of the punchline.

Why do you blog? Do you use your blog as a record of life? Do you aim for big picture or small moments?

[image: fabric from besewhappy.com]

This post is part of the Weekend Rewind blog hop. Join in! Link up an old post for new comment love.

To pet, or not to pet, that is the question

Mr4 is desperate for a pet. He has taken to crawling around the house, pretending to be a cat. Sometimes a Turtle Cat, but mostly just a cat. The Builder and I are hesitating. Our reasons are sound - we have plans to travel, plans to move, plans to plan. But none of them make sense to a four year old who wants something to pat.

He's always been a patter, Mr4. Maxabella would be laughing at the irony of this, she being a patter, me being someone who has always hated being patted. But, I'm here to tell you, being patted by the fruit of your own loins is somewhat different to being patted, absently or annoyingly, by your sister.

Mr4 likes to pat my hair. He has always done this. I generally wear it tied back in a messy, up-do thing, and he has always, from birth, liked to hold onto my messy, up-do thing. And pat it. I thought this was something he'd grow out of, but no... His first words may not have been 'Mummy, put her hair up', but they were three, four, five and six.

Recently, the patting has been out of control. It's a security thing, but he often forgets that it's attached to my head - kind of awkward at times and the words 'please don't pat my hair' may have been uttered on several occasions.

This morning we were discussing, in the car on the way to preschool, the RSPCA box set up in the classroom. The children are all very interested in the RSPCA, particularly given the cupcake fundraiser put on earlier this year. We had enough cupcakes to have them on sale every afternoon for a week! Very popular, the RSPCA.

This time, we are donating tins of food, toys and treats. Mr4 is adamant that we must have a toy as part of our donation. He knows that RSPCA dogs are not free to roam around and feels they must be very bored. We decided on a tin of food and a toy.

There was a little silence. Then...

"Mummy, when, oh when, can I have a pet?"

I began the usual soothing 'soon' conversation, but he was having none of it.

"If I have a pet, I'll have something to pat," he said. "And I won't have to pat your hair anymore!"

His smile was a mile wide. He'd played his trump card. He was willing to give up the hair, if he could have the pet.

It's almost tempting...

Do you have a pet? Was it a considered decision or a spur-of-the-moment thing?

PS: The hand of Mr4 (pictured above) has drawn the winners of the two Peter Carnavas book packs and they are... drum roll please... River and Saffron. Please send me your postal details via the email address on this blog and I'll get them out to you asap.

The cycle of fete

Today was School Fete Day.

(Thank you for your kind wishes. I'm fine.)

I was tempted to simply run this post again - my stellar effort from last year's stellar fete -  but, in the end, decided to go with simply running the same opening. Every fete feels as though it will be the same as the last one, but it's not. Yes, I was on the book stall again (this year's highlight books most discussed book was one called You Sexy Mother, but we had nothing to rival last year's 365 Ways to Drive A Man Wild in Bed). Yes, the lead-up to the fete was announced by a deluge of coloured notes. No, I didn't win anything in the raffle again. Not that I'm complaining, you understand.

This year I was watching the organisers of our fete with a slightly different mindset. During the writing of my new book Career Mums (out January 2012 - gratuitous plug), I learned a few things from my co-author Kate Sykes about how to write your resume if you've been out of paid employment for a while. Her take-home message: you have the skills, you just need to put them in work-speak. As I watched our P&F president, treasurer, secretary et al in action, I realised that she was right.

Our president has the marshaling skills of a tactician, the organisation skills of a General, and the patience of a saint. We have two mums at the school who created a pop-up shop, complete with hand-crafted doo-dads, homemade yummy stuff, and their own gozleme, from scratch, under a tent, without drama. Publicity, marketing, events management, retail, entrepreneurial skills... they're all there. Just ordinary people, doing their thing.

As one burly farmer said to me over a beer at the wind-down event, "Where else would you rather be on a Sunday afternoon than with a bunch of tired, sweaty, satisfied volunteers?"

Where indeed?

Seriously, though, it's a great way to keep your skills up or learn new ones. And next year I might just win the raffle.

[image: twirlingbetty/etsy]

Fibro Q&A: Words and pictures - how to write a children's book

Children's book author and illustrator Peter Carnavas may be the first person to visit the Fibro (for Q&A purposes) whom I've never actually met. Everyone else has been a friend or acquaintance, either IRL (in real life) or URL (via blogs or Twitter). In fact, I wasn't even familiar with his work. But his very engaging publicist Sophia from New Frontier Publishing emailed me and asked if I'd be interested in reviewing Peter's new Little Treasures collection - four little books for little people.

Nope, said I, I'm not really about a review. But I did a little bit of further research, fell in love with Peter's whimsical illustration style, and realised that I had a few questions for an author who put big issues into children's books.

The four titles in his collection cover love, family, the environment and self-worth. Sarah must carry her heavy heart around with her. Jessica tries to make friends. Christopher's father is absent. And there is one about the last tree in the city. I'd tell you more about that one, but Mr4 has taken a liking to it and I can't find it. I asked him whether he liked the books that Mr Carnavas had sent him. "Yes," he said. "I do." "Why?" I asked, looking for pithy words of wisdom for a review. "There's one about a tree," he said. "I like trees."

And, really, what better review of a children's book?

So here he is. All the way from the Sunshine Coast where, I discovered, he lives in a Fibro! (How could I not love him?)

You take on some 'big' issues in your little books. Why do you choose to tackle those, rather than simply writing a story to entertain?
Peter Carnavas: "I don't always mean to tackle big issues, but they are the sort of stories I end up writing. I think it is because I need to feel some sort of emotional connection to a story to pursue writing it. That doesn't mean the story has to be emotional itself, but I just like the idea of readers being able to delve into themes a little, to have layers of meaning working throughout the story. Of course, I love simple, fun stories as well - Quentin Blake is probably my biggest hero and his books are usually pure fun."

What are some of the things you have to think about when working your material into a book suitable for children?
PC: "Most of my ideas have a grown-up origin, such as a conversation I've had or a newspaper article I've read, so there is a bit of a process for me to fashion it into a children's story. It becomes easier when I start working on the illustrations, for no matter what the theme, my pictures are usually quite light and fanciful. This helps a lot.

"There are other little techniques I use to help the story appeal to children, such as the silent animal friends popping up on every page, or adding funny little things in the background. It's also important to cut out unnecessary words. I like to keep the text short and to the point."

When you write your books, do you begin with words or pictures?
PC: "I start with the idea then, after thinking about it for days, weeks or months, I write the text. I like to write the whole story in one sitting - once I've started it, I can't go to bed until it's done. I then start playing around with pictures, usually working out what the characters will look like, what they wear, what sort of animal will follow them around."

What, for you, is the best part of writing books for children? And the most difficult?
PC: "There are many good things about making books for children. I love reading the books to children at schools and getting their response. I'm always fascinated by the ideas they pick up from the stories, often things that I had never considered. On a personal note, it's immensely satisfying coming up with an idea that I think will work, then gradually bringing the characters to life. It can feel quite powerful at times, creating my own little people with their own little triumphs and tragedies.

"The most difficult parts are the boring bits like working out money stuff, though sometimes the most challenging thing is trying to draw something the way I see it in my head. My hand doesn't always do as it's told and I have to reach a sort of compromise between my imagination and my ability. It always works out in the end."

Any advice for wanna-be children's book writers out there?
PC: "I think it's important to get opinions of your work from people that you trust. If you are going to submit to a publisher, make sure you research the publishers well and choose one that suits the story you have written. Check out the Australian Writers' Marketplace for details on just about everything, and join up to the weekly online newsletter, Pass It On. You can find out everything you need to know from those two sources. Finally, just because something is hard, it doesn't mean it's impossible. Keep going."

You can find out more about Peter and his books at petercarnavas.com.

In good news, the engaging Sophia has given me two extra sets of Peter's Little Treasures collection, featuring Sarah's Heavy Heart, The Important Things, Last Tree In The City and Jessica's Box, to give away. Yes, a giveaway! The excitement. To enter, simply leave a comment below. Entries close at 6pm on Tuesday November 8, and Mr4 will draw two numbers at random at 7pm (before bed) on Tuesday November 8, with the winners announced on Wednesday November 9. Oh, and please friend the Fibro if you haven't already. Good luck!

Going part-time (hard habit to break)

I'm going part-time. I've negotiated a flexible working arrangement with myself. I've put a business case together and showed myself how blogging five days a week is curtailing my other writing time. I've shown myself how cutting back to three days will allow me to focus on my other, sadly neglected projects. It's not an easy decision. I have discovered that I have a lot to say. (Actually, I'm not really surprised by that...) But I also know that there are other ways to say it. Other places.

It will take me longer to rack up my next 500 posts. And I'm okay with that. Five hundred posts at an average of 500 words apiece is 250,000 words. That's around three full-length novels. Written in 18 months. I take 200 posts out of that at an average of 500 words apiece and that's more than one whole book - well, here's hoping it's one whole book.

Even so, it's a hard habit to break. 

I'll still be here, Monday, Wednesday and Friday, sharing the Fibro love. I'm just making some room. Opening some windows. At least for a while.

I hope you'll continue to pop round to visit.

[image: tumblr.com]