"That's it," I said, gazing on the perfection of my second little boy, relief that he was here, in good shape, flooding my bruised, battered and re-zippered body. "We're done."
The Builder, dreams of little girls with red hair dancing in his head, wasn't so certain. Hoped I'd change my mind, to be honest. But I didn't. I haven't.
For reasons that are too long, complicated and boring to go into in a blog post, I think another pregnancy would do my head in completely.
And, let's face it, I'm no spring chicken in the baby-making stakes. Any baby that I had today would be looking at a very grey-haired mum at the High School Graduation ceremony. Sixty may be the new 50, but try telling an 18 year old that.
So, that's it. The hardware is gone. The software has malfunctioned. The garage is empty.
I'm okay with it. I think. Part of me reminisces about tiny feet, the scent of freshly washed newborn skin, little starfish hands patting my arm while breastfeeding, those chubby layer-upon-layer baby thighs. Another part of me punches my fist in the air at the idea of never, ever spending another night walking the floor with a screaming scrap of misery. Or spoon-feeding mush to a hungry little mouth (oh, God, the monotony). Or sitting through another Wiggles video.
I'm glad I went there. But it's not necessarily a trip I need to take again.
End of an era.
What about you? Is your garage cluttered up with baby hardware? Are you done?
[image: via weheartit]
At two we are done. I couldn't do that first three months again and my labours were complicated and LONG (like 60+hrs long ending in emergency CSs). As the youngest grew out of various baby bits, we passed them on or sold them. I love my kids and if another happened by accident I know I could do it, but it's not the plan.
ReplyDeleteCompletely done. I have two gorgeous kids and they are perfect. I consider myself blessed.
ReplyDeleteI had some major health issues last year and was told another pregnancy would be dangerous - and it didn't bother me. That's when I knew I was really done.
We are getting rid of our stuff as our youngest (now 15 months) grows out of it. Bye bye baby bath, bye bye baby bjorn... etc.
ReplyDeleteI could easily have more babies, but my husband has had enough (we have 3).
Also moving house in 7 weeks means I do not want to move a whole lot of stuff I will never use.
A friend of mine got rid of all her stuff and then decided to go for number 3!
Funnily enough, the one thing that made me nod my head was the thought of the Wiggles video. The rest I'd happily live through again but, I'm done.
ReplyDelete3 Children aged between 27 and 12. It's enough. (But saying so is still a little hard).
Oooh. Tough subject, A! I cannot part with the cot. It's in pieces but still in our possession. There was a moment there about a month ago when we were trying to recoup some space and we looked at each other and I said, "It's not time. I can't. Just yet..." So I guess it's not time. If we ever use it, it will be a bloody miracle.
ReplyDeleteAt seven I am finished. Have very happily given away all of the baby gear and also happy not to use it again. Every so often I have days where I want more but I am so lucky to have the seven healthy children I do have. I am enjoying the child raising stage instead of the child birthing stage of life. N x
ReplyDeleteAt this stage, I can't imagine ever feeling done, but I'd like to think the day will come. My dad forced my mum to stop at two and I don't think she ever got over it.
ReplyDeleteThat must be such an interesting feeling.
ReplyDeleteWhen Magoo was very, very young and life was very, very tough I cried often because I was supposed to do it all again sometime!!
Thankfully, that feeling is long gone.
Nonetheless, we have a spare room bursting with baby paraphenalia - and Magoo is 3!!!
I try to loan out as much of our baby gear as possible to get it off our floor but i'm definitely not ready to give up on putting it all to good use again.
I just love the title of this post.
Enjoy your gorgeous complete family.
:-)
Our stuff is mostly out on loan... but I'm finished with it. With just one who is now 5, I'm done. He's enough. Some days he's more than enough!
ReplyDeleteInstead I'm looking forward to enjoying other people's little ones... having some cuddles, or a play and then handing them back. I don't think I could go through that craziness or exhaustion again. Hubby definitely couldn't.
I find this interesting for me. I know with all my being that I do not want to be pregnant again. But as Miss 2 approaches being Miss 3 I feel I am not ready to give all that stuff away.
ReplyDeleteSo I just dust the high chair and say it is for my friend with babies to use when visiting.
(ok, so I don't really dust it, but let's pretend)
I don't think I really need to answer this question. You know how over-done I am. Love my kids. Do NOT need any more x
ReplyDeletePS Removing 'onesie' fluff from those starfish hands is a gorgeous memory huh?
We're done, though our operating system failed in the other way (he was "done" before I was "done"!) Now, though, as they get bigger, I am happy with where we are as a family. I don't know if I could handle infancy again!
ReplyDeleteyou never know sometimes..... I always, always wanted a baby sister. my parents said to us our family was complete with three of us children .. and then surprise .. five years later came miss E, the sister I had dreamed of. my parents no longer had any of the baby stuff, except for a few hand me down clothes! x
ReplyDelete"The hardware is gone. The software has malfunctioned."
ReplyDeleteI cannot tell you how much I loved that. Ohh.. I laughed.
It's not often you make me cry Al, but you and your software malfunction just did.
ReplyDeleteWe are done. Intellectually I know that. Emotionally I do not want to be done. I think I will struggle with being done until I have some grandchildren.
xx
Not done yet. I started in my 20s so I've got a few years up my sleeve to sort out what to do about no.4. There may be someone else wanting to meet us, but I don't think I'll know until I've shipped some big boys off to school.
ReplyDeleteYep we were done after two c-sections. Don't think my body could have taken another. No baby stuff in my house and it's no longer baby proof, either!!
ReplyDeleteWell don't know the answer to that;) maybe and maybe not, still haven't decided.
ReplyDeleteOur garage is cluttered with EVERYTHING. We still have a crib because we are holding out to have at least one more baby. I don't know what I'd do if that crib wasn't there anymore.
ReplyDeleteI felt done pretty much as soon as my third son arrived. Someone always told me, "You'll know when you're done," and I did. Just like that. I felt content.
ReplyDeleteWhen we sold our prams (yes, plural), the cot and gave away the rest of the stuff, I was okay with it all. It felt quite freeing, actually. Yes, there was some nostalgia involved when the big pram went - I'd had that baby from my first born and it was just gorgeous - but it was time.
Now I have more space in my hallway! (Always an upside.)
x
Done and dusted here. With two step daughters and two of my own, four girls keeps this house very full. I gave away the last of my baby ware at the beginning of the year and I felt so good. At times I have pangs of longing but I am so looking forward to the next few years of seeing my little people evolve into beautiful big people, that is what it is about for me. x
ReplyDeleteAwwh, all done. My youngest is 10 and I have had 4 miss-carriages all together. I'm still thinking it's possible that may be that one soul who keeps trying to come might be able to make it. But reality is, my body can't hold on to him/her. Our bodies know when it's time to throw in the anchor. Thanks for the lovely post.
ReplyDeleteI had to make a decision to keep or get rid of all of my daughters baby things. she is 5 and I still had everything since we had been hoping to have another child and were having any luck. since we were moving it made holding on to things a bit harder. I sold, donated or gave it all away (except the crib). kind of felt good to not have it around any longer, sort of a mental burden or block.
ReplyDeleteSO SO SO SO done. It's still hard not to get melancholy about little hands and little feet - but the sound of a baby screaming is still very raw for me. I had a small party to celebrate my first weekly shop that didn't involve nappies, I may do the same for the first week I don't have to wipe a bottom.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written.
Kirstyx
SO SO SO SO done. It's still hard not to get melancholy about little hands and little feet - but the sound of a baby screaming is still very raw for me. I had a small party to celebrate my first weekly shop that didn't involve nappies, I may do the same for the first week I don't have to wipe a bottom.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully written.
Kirstyx
Oh how I LOVE the way you write.
ReplyDeleteBefore Children (BC) I used to think that two children wasn't enough. If I was going to do it, I was going to have three.
Well, number two turned out to be worth two handfuls, so it's like I have three anyway.
I'm in the process of giving away the last of the bits. And joy: Noah started toilet training this week. I'm quite excited by No More Nappies!
Congratulations on the 500th post! I've been blogging and still haven't made that mark. WELL DONE!
xx
I am desparately awaiting the next baby, I have a few baby things, none left over from The Son who is 11. But rather stuff I have collected in the hope.
ReplyDeleteNope, not done - just about to start, and completely overwhelmed by it all. Finding it hard to summon the energy to make decisions -the right pram or cot, or the second hand one? cloth nappies, change table, expressing (who ever came up with that terminology), a million bits and bobs and way too many advice givers.
ReplyDeleteI almost wish I could just employ someone to sort it all out for me.
oops, that anonymous was me!
ReplyDeleteI will be a mid fifty-ish at my sons grad..... I plan on looking forty-ish though ( I will get back to you then, let you know if I managed such a not too easy task)...... LOL
ReplyDeleteAre you ever really, truly done when you've had a baby? I have two boys (4 and 16months) and teenage two step-sons so we have a full house. My husband got a vasectomy three weeks after the baby because we both agreed that we couldn't manage anymore babies or children. I agonised about the first baby (still miss my freedom, travel and not being angry so much) and then number two was never going to happen after the birth. But someone time marches on and you miss the baby stage and we wanted the youngest to have a sibling around his age he could grow up with. So baby number three was never an option. But I've had pangs about the baby stage but I would go bonkers with another one, I'm just not cut out for it. I'm sorry I'll never have a daughter and I do so miss the baby. If I was five years younger and we didn't have two older boys and I had better births, maybe. I'll think I'll always miss the babies in a way, but I feel liberated knowing I've got my body back for good, I won't do anymore damage to it and it'll keep getting easier. But I love that I'll always love babies now that I've had one myself. I'm happy to have that slight longing, it's changed me in a way that I like and I love holding that feeling. But I like getting into bed at night and knowing I can sleep....
ReplyDeleteI've also made a memory box so that I can keep some baby things so that I don't feel bad that they're all gone and I can look at them when I need some nostalgia. The rest I've sold on eBay already.
Are you ever really, truly done when you've had a baby? I have two boys (4 and 16months) and teenage two step-sons so we have a full house. My husband got a vasectomy three weeks after the baby because we both agreed that we couldn't manage anymore babies or children. I agonised about the first baby (still miss my freedom, travel and not being angry so much) and then number two was never going to happen after the birth. But someone time marches on and you miss the baby stage and we wanted the youngest to have a sibling around his age he could grow up with. So baby number three was never an option. But I've had pangs about the baby stage but I would go bonkers with another one, I'm just not cut out for it. I'm sorry I'll never have a daughter and I do so miss the baby. If I was five years younger and we didn't have two older boys and I had better births, maybe. I'll think I'll always miss the babies in a way, but I feel liberated knowing I've got my body back for good, I won't do anymore damage to it and it'll keep getting easier. But I love that I'll always love babies now that I've had one myself. I'm happy to have that slight longing, it's changed me in a way that I like and I love holding that feeling. But I like getting into bed at night and knowing I can sleep....
ReplyDeleteI've also made a memory box so that I can keep some baby things so that I don't feel bad that they're all gone and I can look at them when I need some nostalgia. The rest I've sold on eBay already.
A few months after the birth of my first - and so far last - I gave away most of the stuff she had outgrown, including a car seat. I was so shocked by the whole experience, for nothing in the world would I have wanted to go through that again. Fast forward two years and... I might get that Bugaboo down from the attic again :-)
ReplyDeleteA crib remains in our basement, maybe for grandchildren thirty years from now, which is what I tell myself. But I can't get rid of it, not now, even though I know there will be no more babies at our house. Our initial plan was scrapped when two arrived at one time, which we would never change, but it did alter the way the child plan had been mapped out.Which leaves me with a crib, stashed in the far corner of the basement.
ReplyDeleteI'm yet to have one. But I feel the clock is ticking! At least it is for my grandparents that would like me to have babies as fast as possible. Oh.. I don't know what to do with'em sometimes! Thank you for the lovely comment from Friday! Sorry I didn't get the time to return the favor that day :D
ReplyDeleteYes, well and truly done. We're in the process of organising a garage sale now to try and clear the clutter! I'm part sad, but part relieved we're moving onto the next stage with the girls. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm done too - you know I think we could talk for hours, I so relate to how you feel and just love the way you write ... don't stop!
ReplyDeleteNic x