On hold, til death (or email) do us part

Apparently, marriage is contagious. I discovered this today whilst having my second of four conversations with my newly appointed Senior Advisor from Apple. My problem has been escalated and I am in the hands of a very knowledgeable man. He is. I know because I couldn't understand half of what he was talking about and yet he managed to guide me through the process of booting, rebooting, organising a test user, arranging a test email account, removing an application from a package, installing an application from a package and more. I still don't have email, but I feel pretty sure that we are getting closer all the time. If nothign else, I am convinced that all avenues are being exhausted.

All of this booting and rebooting and unpackaging leaves a lot of dead time on a phone call. You know that time while you're waiting for the wheel to spin around and the whirring to stop and you can hear each other breathing down the line. So we chatted. About how lots of guys in the office are getting married or are newly married. About how they chat about the various challenges. About how the older guys in the office laugh at them and tell them they'll be fully trained and domesticated in a few years.

It was a lovely human moment in the middle of a technological nightmare. Surrounded by bits and bytes and incomprehensible gobbledy gook, it was just... nice. He even managed to take my mind of my major stress for a moment or two as we discussed the use of snoring as a weapon during marital disputes. I suggested he use the snore power for good not evil, but we couldn't actually work out a good use for snoring.

There's no real point to this story. Except to say that I'm (hopefully) nearly there. And I really appreciate the assistance - and the humanity - of the geeks at Apple. Computer AND people skills. No wonder he's married.

[image: LicoriceWits/etsy]

The best day ever*

Small decisions can have big repercussions. I bought my iPhone. I walked around with it in my pocket for 24 hours, getting it out randomly to, you know, check it. When I explained to Maxabella that I was doing this, she laughed hysterically. In fact, we both did.

"You know how when you get your first car and you walk around swinging your keys just so everyone knows you've got one, even though they don't care because they've had one for 100 years?"

"That was you?" she chortled.

"That was me." We had to put the phone down briefly while we rolled around on our respective floors.

On Saturday, I decided it was time to join the 21st century and 'sync' my iPhone. I plugged it all in and was told, very kindly and sympathetically, by my iMac that my operating system wasn't up to the task. All was not lost as I had an 'upgrade' disk, which had come with the computer but never been used. When you're a Luddite like me, you use only a fraction of your computer's capability.

I read the instructions, followed them, backed up my files, hesitated, read the instructions again and inserted the disk. The instructions made it all sound so simple.

You know where this is going, don't you?

Suffice to say that the following 24 hours of my life were filled with dread, uncertainty, horror, shock, stress and the words 'we're going to have to erase your hard drive and then we'll see what we can recover'. About halfway through Saturday, I posted the following status update: "I feel ill. Like a Dementor has sucked out all my hope and happiness. I'm needing me a Patronus right now. In the shape of an Apple."

The good people at the Apple Call Centre (most of whom seem to have names beginning with J) did their best. They didn't laugh at me once. The only time they left me feeling less than reassured was when the first guy said 'oh wow, I've never come across that before'. Not really what you want to hear as your computer dies a slow death in front of you. As an aside, I did back-up. I just didn't back-up my system properly. I thought I was doing it right. I wasn't. So if there's any doubt about your own system, I suggest you check into that right now.

Throughout the day, as I waited for this to reboot and that to reload and the other to copy - all excruciatingly slow processes - the boys were rumbling around the house. Whatever they suggested I said yes to - water paints, water games, craft, whatever - anything to keep them busy and out of my zone of stress. When they appeared, I threw food at them - oreos, strawberries, crackers, whatever. Anything to keep them quiet while I stressed.

At the end of the day, as I tucked him into bed, Mr7 beamed up at me. "This has been the best day ever, Mum. We did so much fun stuff AND we had Oreos."

What could I do? I managed a smile and said 'that's nice, dear', as I headed back to my study where my computer was refusing to restore my system back-up and was now making worrying grinding noises.

The best day ever. It's all a matter of perspective, right?

Have you ever experienced a monumental computer meltdown?

Footnote: I seem to have recovered copies of my document files and, it looks like, photos and movies. So far there's no sign of iTunes or my entire email folder, but I am hoping that tomorrow, when the Apple staff are back at work, a nice person, named something starting with J, might be able to help me with that. Fingers crossed, and more tomorrow.

*title may include irony

[image: Piccsy.com]