Monday, January 31, 2011

How (not) to clean out the pantry

ANPNF343ZH3E Some people like to Spring Clean. Others (crazy people) clean the house from top to bottom every single week. I'm a Start of Year clean-out kind of girl. Dump a whole lot of stuff, and then spend the rest of the year re-filling the cupboards.

I remember having regular conversations with a Feng Shui expert for several CLEO features (it was the late 90s), who advocated taking the 'seven things for seven days' approach to bettering your life. Her theory was that if you threw out seven things a day for seven days, you would clear enough space in your home to free your chi... or was it your chakras. Something.

As with most things in life, I tend to take the 'binge' approach to this theory. I throw out 49 things in one day and then rest on my laurels for the rest of the year.

Recently, I approached the pantry. With caution. Pantries are a running joke in my family, mostly because my parents have never met a Use By date they couldn't beat. I used to laugh a lot at the contents of their pantry, complete with three-year-old tin of beetroot. I'm not laughing any more.

In cleaning out the pantry recently, I discovered not only the requisite three-year-old tin of beetroot (which I'm thinking my Dad put in there just to befuddle me), but nine bottles of vinegar. Nine. To be sure, there was Cider vinegar, Brown vinegar, Malt vinegar, White vinegar, Rice vinegar, White Wine vinegar (times two), and Red Wine vinegar (times two). But seriously? Should we ever be facing a siege, Fam Fibro will be in an excellent position to pickle...

We are also well-equipped with baked beans (13 - count them - tins), flour (three kilograms), and several tins of Bundaberg Rum fudge. Yep, all the food groups covered there.

A quick survey on Twitter helped me draw the conclusion that I am not alone with my lone, faded beetroot tin (though there was a late charge by the Tinned Bamboo Shoot brigade) - but that nine bottles of vinegar probably qualifies me for some kind of hall of fame. Well, I've always wanted to be an award-winner ("You like me, you like me!").

The truly sad part of this tale, however, I have saved for the end. That tin of beetroot? Still there. I couldn't bear to throw it out. You just never know... and those tinned things never really go off, do they?

Mum and Dad, I understand now.

'Fess up: do you have that tin of beetroot? Or some other random tin that you bought years ago and still resides at the back of the pantry? Or, like me, do you buy strange things - like vinegar - in bulk? Share the Hall of Fame with me - it's lonely in here.

{image: inspcollection.com}


39 comments:

  1. Oops, just checked and found a bag of Szechwan Pepper I mistakingly bought for a recipe about three years ago. It's now in the bin x

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  2. The beetroot thing - that'd be opened and scoffed in our house - we all love a bit of beetroot - homegrown or canned. We do a can a week, easily....so no beetroot muster for me.

    That said, if you need a can of chickpeas, I'm your girl. Just in case. (In case of what?! Jessica Seinfeld and her Deceptively Disgusting choc chio chick pea cookies?!)

    (And the Feng Shui expert from CLEO...do not mock. I recall reading a feature on how to attract a partner by re-arranging your bedroom and emptying half your wardrobe, and I acted upon the advice....and a month later, the lovely husband and I were shacked up together in loved up bliss.....

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  3. I cleaned out my pantry just before Christmas. First time in 7 years, and only because I had to as we were demolishing the old pantry. I couldn't bare to put all of our old tins in the new pantry - like putting dirty feet in a bed of fresh sheets.
    I have a thing for baking products - SR flour, plain flour, wholemeal SR flour, wholemeal flour, rice flour, 5 different types of sugar. You get the drift. They all made it back into the new pantry, only this time with spanky new labels. When it comes to the pantry, I hoard like a squirrel.

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  4. I'm pretty obsessed with my pantry. It started life on a piece of paper and was agonised over for months upon months with the help of around 5 kitchen magazines. I'm ruthless with what goes in, where it lives and what stays in. The Little Miss, however, says 'bah' to all that and loves nothing more than to rearrange everything and throw my carefully imagined order to the crapper- I have potatoes in my wine rack.

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  5. Holy shit - someone else like me!! I seem to have a fetish for tuna and corn. At last count I had 12 cans of tuna and 8 cans of corn. Every week we go shopping I pass these items and for some reason my brain screams at me that life will end of I don't purchase them RIGHT NOW. So I do. I am now not allowed to go shopping by myself anymore and I have joined 'canned fish and veg anonymous' after my husband staged an intervention (something along the lines of 'for the love of all that's holy please STOP - we do NOT have tuna mornay every day!'.

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  6. One word - botulism. Otherwise, I see no probs with the lone beetroot tin. I myself like to hold on to pineapple chunks. So yummy and versatile. And yet, uneaten....

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  7. I'm giggling. I'm giggling! And I cleaned out my pantry last week. My pantry isn't big, but there's some beauties. And I don't look at the use by dates on tins. Simply not relevant. By the way: still giggling. xx

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  8. All that vinegar and not one bottle of balsamic! Sacrilege!

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  9. @LittleMissMoi - OMG, I am outed. The only reason there wasn't one at the time of the audit is that I'd taken my bottle to mum and dad's for Christmas and it had not at that time been returned. So yes, there are actually TEN bottles of vinegar in my pantry.

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  10. @Kel - am laughing. We have a small tuna glut here as well, but my list was getting embarrassing.

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  11. Oh yes..there's the obligatory can of beetroot in my cupboard too..just in case? I also have bread improver...'cos when I get off my carb reduced thing I may want my bread to improve..and there is always a can of sauerkraut which noone except mr w really likes and he has to feel like it...so there it sits! I've also got all the vinegars...they are always so disgusting I buy a new kind just in case it tastes better.

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  12. Hilarious! I LOVE this post. I believe it's just a 'human' thing to buy in bulk... especially when a sale is on... because you will simply never get an offer of 4 for $6.00 on fountain tomato sauce EVER again! My cupboards are testament to your research (thank you to the tin of corn kernels, of which I'm sure no longer even have a date in sight!) and yes I am with you, annual stocktake does just nicely for me. I'm a feng shui nightmare!

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  13. Surely if it's been put in a tin, it's meant to last forever? Sadly no tinned beetroot in my pantry, but I can help you with condensed milk and tinned soup that is several years old. I'm sure it's still yummy!

    Thanks for the giggle.

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  14. I have a bag of cardamom pods that a friend brought for me... hmm... 4 years ago? I've brought it with me through 3 moves, and i think I'll bring it with me to our next home in California!

    It's like part of the family now! Auntie Cardamom!

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  15. Loved this post, it freed my charka without throwing anything away! So nice to know we are not alone in our ways.

    We have a can of Coconut milk that I thin is now two years gone. I bought in during my Thai-inspired cooking phase that didn't seem to last for more than one meal.

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  16. I'm with Kel! I haven't made tuna mornay for a good 12 months, but there's plenty of supplies in the pantry ready for when I do! And it's very hard to pass on them when shopping...
    Oh and not only chick peas - but tins of 4 beans(?)... for some salad I was going to make years back....What was that about?!
    Time for a clean-out I think!

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  17. Well I also just cleaned out the pantry and found a tin of sauerkraut expired in 2009 - I opened it and it smelt okay but I didn't eat it in the end - was it really worth getting food poisoning to save a couple of dollars? no I thought. Chronic diarhorrea is not fun,.

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  18. I think there may be a can of salt at the back of my cupboard.

    I'm not saying its old but its cover has no list of ingredients, no recommended daily intake lists, and no message about its possible contamination by nuts. In fact I think it has a picture of an athlete on it and the words "Give your heart a jolt with Pearson's salt!"

    But I might have made that up...

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  19. On the other hand it is dead trendy to have ancient packaging hanging about the kitchen. So I say spare yourself the cleanup, just keep everything.

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  20. I cleaned out my pantry this weekend too! And I had no idea I was helping my chi or chakras! Yay me!

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  21. Ohhh yes, that's me! I did it yesterday in the study, tossing out a at least 49 things, but won't do it again for a while. And I do my pantry once a year as a rule :D I think my old thing would have to be ... beetroot ;) Someone eats it, right????

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  22. If we're going to have a deadly pantry picnic, I can contribute a tin of brown lentils that I have kept through three house moves - not quite sure where they came from in the first place!! And enough sprinkles / 100's and 1000's to sink the proverbial. Just can't stop buying them at every birthday "in case I run out half way through" - seriously??? I won't run out until my kids are in their 40's!!! My pantry is so tiny, it heaves it's own door open after I do a grocery shop...wait until our new house is built, complete with 'large' pantry, and I can fill it with more multicoloured cake decorations!! Bliss!!

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  23. My hungry children make sure that nothing lasts very long in the pantry...though beetroot probably would! BC I did own the same bag of sugar for about 10 years. None of the visitors who got it in their tea ever complained.

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  24. The oldest thing in my pantry is a tin of veggies (hate them tinned but you never know when we might be trapped here FOREVER).
    Although once i see something is out of date i usually chuck it. I can't eat out of date food, my mother is really bad for it, she has things from the 90's in her pantry *shudders*

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  25. Am happy to say I have never bought a tin of beetroot, but I really need to clean out the cake decorating stuff. I hate to think how old some of that is...

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  26. Our unopened jar of Hoisin sauce has travelled with us for a long time.

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  27. I nearly killed my husband once by serving him old food (I'm not kidding), so I now abide by used by dates.

    The thing that gets me about the pantry is the domestic blindness that occurs there. No matter how neat and tidy, no one can find the new jar of mayo. I resorted to labelling the shelves at the last clean. Still no help. Maybe a new pantry is in required...?

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  28. Tins have use by dates? Who knew! x

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  29. I'm afraid I'm a stickler for used by dates... but my mother-in-law thinks they are just guidelines. She has (still... even after I confronted her with it) a tin of curry powder from 1983. I'm not kidding. Mental note: don't eat curry when visiting the in-laws! gxo

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  30. I've got rice and packs of gum I carted with us from our first post-college apartment.

    And if you want to get rid of that fudge, I can send you my address. =>

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  31. Of course I have a tin of beetroot - several in fact!

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  32. ah hah ahahah hah ha. deja vue.

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  33. I'm in the midst of a clean out too - but haven't gotten to the pantry cupboard yet. We did find some popping corn a couple of years past the use by date just the other day though (gone to the compost, even though i'm SURE it would be fine!!)

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  34. I have had a few forced pantry clean outs now thanks to weevils. Ick! Everything that isn't vital or in tins or Tupperware.. in the bin!

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  35. I'm sure use-by dates for pantry items are just a conspiracy from large food conglomerates to get you to buy more product before you need to...that's my theory & I'm sticking to it.

    Had my first aid kit in pantry & wondered why the Detol cream had lost it's 'sting' factor when I applied it to one of the kids' cuts...it was out of date by 13 years! Coughed up the $3.50 to buy a new one, now the kids scream like a mother when I use it - must be working, lol.

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  36. Canned goods do go off eventually. Keep your beetroot for another couple of years, then buy a new can and taste a slice from each one. You'll see.
    I have a can of mushroom soup that's probably 6 years old, think I'll chuck it out, I'm never going to make beef stroganoff again.
    I have 5 different types of sugar and 4 x 1.25kg tins of Milo.....

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  37. hmmmm can't say I've ever owned a can of beetroot . . . I wouldn't know what to do with it!

    Awesome post . . .

    Thanks for following my blog, Peace Love Happiness . . . I am following your blog as well :)

    Have a wonderful day . . . Gina

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  38. Why yes, I do have that tin of beetroot. Mine lives in the fridge so it is ready to open at any time. Um...but that didn't happen last summer, or the summer before, or the summer before that..x

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  39. I also can not throwing anything away, I like to keep everything, because it's sentimental for me
    cleaning Sydney

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